Salutations boogers.
It's been forever since my last confession, er, blog post.
My computer finally bit the dust (now taking donations for the Help Ivel Advance In Life fund), I tried to do a couple of posts on my iPad and forever reason it just didn't work. I get all cranky and frustrated if I try to do something and then it goes bunk.
Plus I don't know if I can do my images the same way i used to which makes me mad too. But I finally decided that I need to get over all that shiz because I actually really care about my blog and I don't want it to die. I already let my selfie a day blog go the way of the dodo (combo of not enough feedback coupled with me getting tired of taking my own visage into such high regard), I know my words are stronger than that and my desire to keep this alive and going is primordially self serving.
Which, truthfully propels me further than most things.
Can I just take a moment to do an aside?
I am pretty sure there is some shady business going on next door to my house. There are people (men) going in and out (parking in MY parking spot, no, I don't care that I don't have a car) at all kinds of hours, being rowdy (seemingly rearranging the furniture?) at all kinds of hours of the night, and there is a dude who sleeps in his truck sometimes outside. Supposebly, the place is occupied by just one dude and his grand daughter comes to visit him, but I have a sneaking suspicion that is baloney. I hear arguments (with an adult woman) about money issues all the time when I am doing laundry in the basement. It's so lame-o, especially for a light sleeper like moi.
ANYWAY.
I guess the best thing to come from that is a push towards getting a car, so that I can rent a proper little cottage type thing (Independent from other places, in a Quiet neighborhood) in a place just enough out of the way that the rent is cheaper but is not too far away from work when driving. Where I can have a DOG! And a yard, and some peace and quiet. My lease is up in about six months, and then options. So, we'll see what happens. I love my apartment, but I really want some more quiet (really I should just pitch tent in a convent, I am such a curmudgeonly a-hole) and a puppy. I am ok if the puppy makes noise, cause he'll be my baby.
It's interesting cause now that I am at that point in adulthood (ahhhh! when did that happen?!?!?!) in which I am thinking about the future and not just living for the moment. In some ways, clearly I have been living like this for a while on account of my schooling (means to an end, meh, end in an end in and of itself. HEYO, words are playthings) but this is different. I guess arguably, it's always different, but this is the only time I have been this lucid in a time of shift and moment of transition, and it is happening to me by My Self, which is the biggest difference I would say, and it is wild.
In some ways it's totally rad because the whole "master of my own destiny" doody is happening real time, and in others it is "holy crap scary" cause I am all by myself and anything can happen.
So what's been happening?
Cartoons, porn, lazy days, flowers, walks, talk radio, plants, cooking, dates, nights alone, lots of mini-series, introspection, self loathing, self love, great heights, thoughts and thinking supreme, new breadths, yearning like never before, contentedness, cleaning up, using the dishwasher (and liking it!), new friends, new challenges, art, learning, pushing myself, chess, crochet, documentaries, sleeping poorly, wine, bars on division, disappointment, searching, coloring, old friends, some live music (need more!), culture, physical activity (finally!), greenery, laundry, rental cars, desire, cooking (not enough, but hopefully more soon), settling, reinforcing patience, trying to make friends, loving openly, being dismissive too quickly, being true, trying to figure out what that means, ENFP, focusing, being distracted, and so much more.
That's all for now my kittens!
You know how we do.., till next time... expect great things.
