New Frontiers on Sullen Soil

¡Salutations!

It's wild to see that it's been this long since I have posted, my my how four years can fly. It is true what they say that the older you get the faster time seems to go. I think especially now, with events transpired in the decade that was twenty twenty that sentiment is particularly spot on. For new friends & comrades, this blog is a place for updates and reflections on life, mostly for me to have a record but also for interested parties to stay a little more up to date than a single foto can provide.

My last post 4 years ago was quite melancholy, reflective, and slightly morose if not on brand hopeful. I had started a few posts between now and then, but never finished them for one reason or another. There is a bit of a lesson to learn from this, the enemy of productivity can be perfection- or procrastination. At any rate, here we are and I am determined to give it to y'all in one go. Thank you to my friend for the reminder of the existence of this blog as a mechanism to communicate with friends near and far. I also do quite enjoy them as seances with former self. Sometimes ya just need a little spark to light you up, here we go!

The year is coming to a close, and what a year it's been. Since last I wrote my career has taken an unexpected but inspiring turn and the future in this realm of life is looking big and bright. It has been surreal for me to have good news in the last six months- but oh so welcomed. I was selected as a Community Science Fellow with the Association of Science and Technology Centers in Washington DC- a fellow at an association is a wild & unfamiliar thing! When I share it with folks, I generally get blank stares, like "that's nice... but what does it mean, exactly?", a totally reasonable reaction. Even now 6 months into it I have a hard time describing it succinctly- a glaring indication of the immaterialness of academically oriented pursuits. I don't wholly believe in this, which is why I am considering a PhD (more on that in a moment), but do feel it is an pervasive and damaging association. Something I am hoping to make some strides towards dismantling through my efforts, that is to say figuring out ways academic folks can be more accessible and relevant to people who are not. 

Anywho- my work life consists of working remotely from home doing research and interviews and meeting about these things. I am working with a team building a framework for understanding how communities can work with science practitioners (formal and informal) to advance their priorities (relating to education, environment, quality of life, etc). For me, this incarnation is a natural evolution of the trajectory so far, with the general career ethos being science as a force for good in communities. This fellowship is a temporary appointment that ends in Fall 2021, so that means I am using the time to plot my next endeavor! 

At this moment in time I am seriously considering pursuing a Doctor of Philosophy in Industrial Organizational Psychology with a focus on social justice systems in informal science education. What a mouthful! Basically- I want to focus on how to affect change from the inside, with an ultimate goal of working at the National Science Foundation. We will see how this thinking evolves in the coming months, lot's more research to be done and conversations to be had. One important thing I am looking for in a program is for it to be fully or partially funded! No more debt for this honey kitten. I love learning and hope I can continue to magnify my impact on this roller coaster. And that's all I have to say about that.

In other news, I am trying out a year of sobriety! This came about as a process I usually undertake during my birthday wherein I set a goal that I want to accomplish in the following year. Usually they are health focused, it's kind of like my own new years resolution, but with a great likelihood of accomplishment. This year I was just feeling an urgency to be present and was sort of starting to feel the wear of fifteen or so years of no full break to speak of. Reactions to this when I tell folks have been really interesting to me, something in that is telling of the relationship people have with intoxication generally. Some people have gone on to be defensive or explain their own decisions around this and others have been like good luck! Both of those are a bit bewildering to me because my choices are not a judgement value on you and I don't see it as a question of luck, it's just something I am going to do. I get it though- it's a goal for a reason and the connotations and associations with this one in particular are unavoidable. 

Overall it goes very well. Some of the most obvious changes are around an increase in my motivation levels. These fall in three general categories: activity, reading, and diet. I am more active now than I have ever been in my life, daily I am walking around 4-5 miles and ride my bike for 10 miles. On the weekends I try to do more of both. As a part of my goal I also cut back on social media- not a complete hiatus but am using more sporadically to try to focus attention on other things. Part of the rationale for this was not wanting to "trade addictions" and partially I was tired of the scrolling hamster wheel. I do love the photography and sharing aspects of it but I uninstall the app every time I post to avoid the pitfall of constant checking. Whatever works! As a result I am reading more, every morning after some lemon water and a brisk walk I curl up with my pups and a periodical, and I just finished a novel after a long time (highly recommend The Parable of The Sower by Octavia Butler- damn!). Diet wise, as part of the kick off to my goal I did a cleanse and that has been a nice transition into paying more attention to what I put in my body. It's generally meant eating less overall and consuming more things like fruits, veggies, nuts, and bone broth and less refined grains. Good times.

I have a partner now! A profoundly different life from the loneliness of the previous years posts. It's been a big change for me- I have grown A LOT in this realm, my partner has really helped me confront some of the darker more selfish parts of self and through choked up tearful conversations led to some vulnerable and exposed moments of watershed growth. He is very handsome, kind, smart, and motivating. It hasn't been a totally smooth ride (as is expected) but I am very appreciative of him and his family in my life. Especially during this heck of a year! There is a warmth and great big love shared that rivals any other I have had in my life kin to my own kin. We currently live with his parents in a lovely caring if not sometimes chaotic space- my life is filled with love, thoughtful conversation, good meals shared, and sweetness and I am so grateful all the time.

Also: great puppies, kitties, a momentary tortoise, a couple parakeets, and I get plenty of beach time, which is important to me. Been digging on the following tunes: Pixels by Mimicking Birds (always that nostalgia to little sorrows), my future by Billie Eilish (cause i love my self present & future- also check out her new video therefore I am!), Boats & Birds by Gregory and the Hawk (i live to let you shine).

I think that's all I have to say for now. I have been trying to write more cards and letters so if you are interested in staying in touch that way I welcome it.  It's wonderful to receive a tangible token of friendship during these socially distant times, low pressure. Let me know if you are interested!

Until next time, friends and fiends: expect great things.